Stop Lying: Why is it so difficult?
Posted: Friday, April 21, 2006
by Habit Buster
http://www.breakingthehabits.com
It is a myth that the liar can control his/her lying habit.
Because lying is an impulse.....
the lying habit, the liar often ends up repeating the bad
habit.
The lair will aware of the stress that lying causes. They make
promises, to themselves, and to friends and family, to stop
lying……again and again, they react to the impulse and repeat
the same lying patterns.
Because lying (the bad habit) is an acquired pattern of
behavior, it becomes almost involuntary as a result of
frequent repetition. The following two stories will give a
more visual definition of the acquired lying pattern:
A teacher takes a bit of lightweight thread and wraps it onece
around the student's wrist.
He tells the class, "The string represents the power of lying
once. Can you break the string?"
The student easily breaks the thread with a small flick of the
wrists. The teacher then wraps the string around the student's
wrist many times and repeats the challenge to break it (lying
habit).
Despite repeated efforts, the lightweight string is too strong
to break.
The teacher says, "Now you see the power of repeated
actions…repeated lying. It takes more than mere willpower and
personal strength to break it. It takes a change in the way
you think about the problem."
Napoleon Hill tells this story that I have adapted:
"When men first come into contact with the lying habit, they
abhor it. If they remain in contact with lying for a time,
they become accustomed to it, and endure it. If they remain in
contact with it long enough, they finally embrace it, and
become influenced by it.
How does this "influence" affect the liar?
The liar knows that lying stops him from reaching his
potential. He knows that lying becomes self-inflicted
punishment and it drains his motivation, time, money and
relationships.
But in order to stop lying, the liar is confronted with…and
confuses the lying habit (the behavior) with who he/she truly
is.
And realizes….
- The liar is not the behavior.
- The liar will make mistakes.
- The liar must never punish him- or herself.
- Willpower is not enough to stop the lying habit.
- That liars must take advantage of the self-fulfilling prophecy
- and not let their believes use it against them.
- ......plus more.
Stop lying today by controlling the mind and not being
controlled by the mind. This may seem simple and it is, but
it's not easy. Because it took the mind a long time to create
the lying habit and it will take some time to re-train the
mind on how to stop lying and replace it with winning habits.
------------------------------------------------------------
Johan Horak is the publisher of Habit Busting Secrets: How to bust any bad habit in
21 days Guaranteed.
Click Here ===>>Stop lying or any other bad habit
-------------------------------------------------------------
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Top-level comments on this article: (10 total)I lie, and I really don't know why I do. I used to lie all the time and my wife called me out on it and I really upset her. after that I didn't lie for 2 1/2 years. Now I did again and it was the worst. She caught me and i kept digging a bigger hole!!! I have no reasoning to why I did this. She is pregnant and i dont want to be this husbad or father that can't stop lying.I finally confessed to her and told her what really happened that night.Just stupid things, I lied about where I was. Are there any articles that i can read or what can I do to fix my problem.
i have been lieing to my girlfriend about taking drugs for some time now and every now and then she finds out the truth. i am not happy with the way i am and if i could turn back time i would do anything. i know she wants to be with me as she has stuck by me and im desperate to be happy. the lifestyle i have got myself into is destorying btoh me and her. my girlfriend has recently been diagnosed with a swollen lymph gland and im so ashamed of myself, i found out stress can be a cause of this. she has recently had a throat infection too and although this may be a reason for it to swell i know the stress is part of it. please point me in the right direction for help. were both desperate to be happy and we both know that we are made for each other.
remember, honesty is the best policy.
i am in the lying industry and it takes a lie to cover another lie.hey i dont know how to stop it.
I constantly lie to my parents they always find out but I still do it yesterday the told me I had till next august to find i new place to live i will barely be 18 I have tried to break this habit before but nothing seems to work I need help but not sure where to find it.
I hate lying. I am on a football team and it is so tough to break the habit. But I plan to own up to what I do and make thing better. I just wish I wasn't in this hole.
I'm 15 i know its bad to lie. I first starter lying to get myself out of trouble and to get my own way and when I couldn't lying I got my sister to do it for me. Now I've get my own way it's harder to stop doing it. now There is only one or two people I lie to now. I feel dumb doing it. I want to be honest to her.no were same also i lie also my family..but we stop this so we cannot hurt ..because its not good
Hi, I have lied since I was a kid. Now I am in my fifties and I still lie. I hate it. Especially when I lie to my wife.I have wondered why I lie so much. I've got it to 2 reasons.1) Afraid of facing the truth and how it would affect me and 2) fear- fear that by telling the truth I will somehow be hurt by it. Two cowardly reasons, I suppose. I am not a very self confident person to begin with and am afraid to face up to the truth. When I was a kid I hated going to church. As I got older and could do things on my own, my parents, very strict Catholics, always expected me to go to church every week. Out of fear I told them that I did. I really didn't however, and spent the time I would be in church purusing through a bookstore until church time was done and it was time to go home. I did this for years and they never found out. Why couldn't I just be my own person and say that I didn't believe in the church institution and had my own personal spirituality. It was too hard.
The lying grew easier and easier. I began lying a lot to my wife. She 'd often wonder where I was. I would not come home on time and I'd visit a favorite store to hang out in. I 'd make up one excuse after another. Working late, too much traffic, etc. The best thing that happenend is that she has caught me many times wrapped in my own web of deceit. She isn't talking to me now and I don't know what will happen. I have said I am sorry probably one to many times. Whatever the outcome, I know that I must stop. I must stop myself now and think before I respond to anything. My wife is a good person and I cannot believe I have stooped this low. I have to be brave and say the truth no matter what. It's hard but I will do it !
i lie allot, i'm lying everyday and night, every minute i don't know how to get rid of this, my wife left me cause of lie it ruined my life!!! i'm done with lie but don't know how to stop however i don't lie allot now but still i lie my wife left me cause i lied to her before over small things and now she don't believe me even i'm telling her the truth
I'm gonna be 20 next year and i was lying to my boyfriend a lot and hurting him by messing up a good thing we had going. But I don't wanna be a liar I finally told him everything and I feel better but still hurts to kno how I lie about things now he is hurt and I wanna make him happy but I put myself in a cave so deep I don't kno how to get out. All I kno is I love my boyfriend and I wanna make things right. Any input on what I'm going through or what I can do..... I jus pray to god we work out.
I met my boyfriend few years ago and we been through alot. Lying, cheating, decieving eachother. My boyfriend been truthful for a year and somthin now and I still did it again lied, cheated, and decieved him. I really hurt him to the point I don't kno if he want me. I have this problem with lying i do it too much. But I look at myself and say your a young lady why did you lie to the one person that really love you. Hmm that's a difficult question, but its not really. I lied cause I was afraid of the outcome
And just was being childish.but I realize I'm in charge and have control over my actions. I just kno I put myself in a cave I got to get out before its to late and I wonte be giving any chances anymore. Pray we make it. So I believe in myself and my boyfriend will be so proud with seeing me expand and become great and powerful and a respectable young lady.
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